Did you know that MOST approaches to
building self esteem, boosting confidence
and developing motivation
are destined to FAIL?

my name is Robert Scanlon and I've been in and around the self improvement scene for over 21 years ... as well as personally training other personal development facilitators, consulting to large corporations and one-on-one coaching of top executives for the last 15 years.

I've seen it all -- from rebirthing to auditing -- from 'est' workshops to in-your-face-boot-camps -- and most of them have two fundamental problems:

Problem No. 1: They focus only on "what to change" ... and COMPLETELY MISS the HOW!

I can give you a great example of exactly this issue. My wife is reading a well-known book on Anger Management (I won't name it). The book provides an interesting and helpful diagnosis of typical anger patterns, allowing the reader to easily identify with some of the classic reactions.

But when it comes to providing the exact answer for "how do I do that?", the book fails miserably -- for example; "Getting angry with someone? Just stop judging them and take a breath." (I paraphrase, but you get the idea).

There is no depth or structure in that 'advice'. For example, I am well aware that too much chocolate probably isn't great for my energy levels, or for that matter, weight loss or digestion, and I know I could just stop ... but I don't. Biting your nails? Well don't do that!

This kind of diagnosis -- without any help in discovering the new skills that may be required -- is worse than unhelpful ... it's damaging and in some cases may even create cases of "New Age Guilt"!

What is New Age Guilt you ask?

It happens when someone uncovers the issues that are causing their unhappiness, realizes that they are "personally responsible" and are causing this themselves ... then CANNOT CHANGE THEIR WAYS (because they haven't yet learned 'how').

This drives them to feel even less worthy -- now they not only know that they have "an issue", but they are "guilty" of being incapable to do anything about it ... and so the vicious circle goes on.

What rubbish.

Fact: Most adults don't know how to learn ... or even "unlearn".

When a baby first starts learning to walk, it will watch and 'model' others who can walk. Then trying to emulate the success of others ... they take a step ... and promptly fall down!

Do they give up on walking altogether?

Do their parents hold them to ransom for being a 'non-walker'?

No, of course not ... they just keep trying until they work out 'how'.

And of course along the way, they'll get plenty of coaching and encouragement from parents, family and friends.

If this were an adult, after the first attempt (and subsequent failure), we'd buy a book or two on walking and the 12 "walk-types" that we must identify with; we'd probably attend a seminar or two and view other successful walkers stories ... take therapy for our continued failures ("Tell me how it feels to you when you see others walking and you can't ..") ... beat ourselves up for being so pathetic ... and give up.

The reality is, we must all learn new 'skills' to overcome adversity in our lives.

And if we borrowed the attitude of a baby learning to walk, we'd take every "failure" with a grain of salt, laugh ourselves silly and keep on tryin' until we figured it out.

So my Number 1 Rule for assessing Self Improvement advice is:

Problem No. 2: The "Order Of Change" is inadequate.

For example:

Have an issue with your self image?

Then take a full make-over -- new clothes, hair-cut, makeup, perfume.

Sure, you'll look at yourself in the mirror and there will be a 'feel-good moment'. But what has really changed about the way you see yourself?

It is obvious to everyone that this will fail -- yet it is exactly this type of 'guru advice' that drives me nuts!

Let me further illustrate this with an analogy.

Let's suppose you are on the maiden voyage of a world-class cruise ship. It so happens that this ship is the Titanic ... and it is rapidly heading for the iceberg.

So the Captain issues orders to rearrange the deckchairs ...

Fact: The underlying cause is not addressed.

This is what we call "First Order Change" - an action that appears to have made a change -- I look better in the mirror -- the deckchairs on the Titanic are in a better place -- but it is deceptive as the underlying motivations, issues and causes are not addressed. In all likelihood, the problem will re-present itself sooner rather than later.

Or worse, we crash into a metaphorical iceberg ... and drown in a sea of New Age Guilt.

How can you make sure that you are generating high-quality, better than first-order, change?

Solution: Address the more fundamental, underlying or "root" causes.

This will gain you Second Order -- or even higher, say Third or Fourth Order change.

This is change that sticks.

The mold has been broken for good.

The DVD scratched and unplayable.

Your "old map of life" torn up and thrown away.

I'll be the first to admit this is more tricky -- perhaps it is why so few people really try to engage in it and why so few teachers are able to teach and coach it -- but you'll enjoy the payoffs forever.

With a good practical focus on "the how-to process of change", not only can you change your life more successfully and permanently, you will also learn the internal skills of "how to do it" for reference any time you want in the future.

Which brings me to Rule Number 2.

My Number 2 Rule for assessing Self Improvement advice is:

Want to change yourself? Important cautionary note

By taking this approach you commit to a certain level of effort -- and making positive changes in you that are irreversible -- which might challenge those close to you.

• You might have consequences in your life that you hadn't planned for ... perhaps losing old friends as they no longer "match" the new you.
• Perhaps you will be wealthier? Then be prepared to have to learn many new behaviors -- budgeting, tax minimization, investing wisely. Maybe even learning not to be arrogant or snobbish purely because you've "improved yourself". Or fending off the many sales people who can sniff "easy money".
• Maybe you'll change your diet -- and suddenly the rest of your family turn into nutritional experts and you'll have to politely decline their advice.

So whichever way you look at it, knowing "what to change" isn't enough (in my experience, most people already know what they need to change anyhow).

And it doesn't mean you'll give up some of the other modalities of change -- by all means use rebirthing, religion, massages and meditation.

In fact, because you'll have a "how to" based approach, these other methodologies can become great "grease for the wheels".

Get started now: How to do this for yourself -- step-by-step

If you'd like to learn powerful, second order, "how to" skills that can change your life in the next 28 days -- then read on and check out the eBook, eLessons, Audio seminars and special bonuses that come with "SuperCharge Your Self Esteem In 28 Days ... Or Less".

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